cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
