Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Randomize
