You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
