Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
