I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
