My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
