i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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