He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
