The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize