just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
