My brain says no but my pants say off.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
