I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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