He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
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