I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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