Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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