my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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