everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Boobs are out for the taking
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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