So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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