Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Terrible idea I love it
he just fucked me for my cheese.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
