sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Randomize