i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Randomize
