no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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