I should be sponsored by Trojan
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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