4 words: hood of his car
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
