my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
