So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
