There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
