so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Randomize
