How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
