The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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