Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize