just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
