I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
