I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
