why do cheetos always look like penises
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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