Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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