dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
