I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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