i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize