I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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