I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
