Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
