we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
