i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
