no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
The uberlube is also flammable
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize