my phone cant type all the emotion im having
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
that is very illegal...i love you.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
