You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
