Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize