I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
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