Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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