youre lurking in front of me
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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