What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
