I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
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