i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
