Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
