I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
How's work?
Spinning.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Randomize
