it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
