No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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