Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
