If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize