i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Just fell off a train. Bad.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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