nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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