dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
