Just cropdusted the office
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
