I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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