they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Randomize
