Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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