Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
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