How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
